Episode #241 - Grace, Mercy & Covenant Protection

When we partake of covenants and live the gospel, we will find grace, mercy and protection, but it is very important to remember just how individual those blessings are to each of us.  

Transcript

Welcome to episode #241 – Grace, Mercy & Covenant Protection.  I am your host Damon Socha.  Today I am going to include a question from a listener.  By the way, you can submit questions through the Buzzsprout website or you can send them directly to my email.  My email is dtsocha@gmail.com.

The question from our listener is simple but in a way it has many underlying details that are important.  The question is does the Lord work with us individually.  The answer is a resounding yes.  But not just in a general sense of the word individual but in a detailed sense.  The Lord knows our nature and character from the pre-earth life.  We came to this earth with very defined tendencies and so the Lord knows what we will choose given a certain set of circumstances in our lives.  He can project who we were, add the complexity of a veil of forgetfulness, and then fully comprehend how we will respond in our mortal life.  He provides even for our errors before they occur allowing for learning, repentance and mercy.  Take for instance, the 116 pages of the Book of Mormon that were lost through a learning experience provided by the Lord to Joseph Smith.  The Lord knew beforehand what Joseph was likely to do and he provided for both cases where he would have been successful in keeping the pages or losing them.  Although it is evident in Joseph’s later ministry that this error in judgment was vital for him to develop a completely loyal character to the Lord, the Lord does provide for both opportunities.  But what we find is that the Lord does not punish possible error.  Meaning he didn’t choose someone other than Joseph to translate the plates in the pre-earth life simply because he could project the error Joseph would make.  Joseph had qualified for his work in the pre-earth life.  He would not be punished in a sense for something he may do in mortality.  The Lord just doesn’t work this way.  Justice doesn’t allow for us to be punished for something that has not occurred.  That same is true for Judas.  He didn’t choose another besides Judas even knowing that there would exist a high likelihood of his failure.

We are not punished prematurely in this life in the sense of errors we might commit.  However, the Lord must project our errors so that he can plan for them.  Now there is a debate as to whether the Lord simply knows exactly what you will do or whether he provides for every possible avenue we might take or encounter in our lives.  I am on the every possible avenue but either way the result is the same.  The Lord knows us so intimately that we works in the small details of our lives.  Yes we see his hand now an again when we are looking for it and expect it but for the most part the Lord works under our regular vision to provide for our pathways.  That leads me into today’s question that parallels the idea of individual attention by the Lord.

Why doesn’t the Lord provide more help when we need it?  When we commit to the Lord through our covenants and are working to keep them, why don’t we see more grace, mercy and that protection promised through our covenants.  Why do we need to suffer so much and why can’t the Lord just provide the aid we need?  I know this question hits deep with those of us who have suffered through episodes of mental illness, without the Lord seeming to intervene in our behalf.  We can feel very isolated, alone, desperate, hopeless and in some ways we can feel very lifeless.  Why aren’t we protected more than we are through those covenants.  Sometimes it can be hard to see the difference between being a member and not being a member.

This is a difficult question to answer in a general sense.  The answer is a very individual one for each person.  And that is why I am grateful for the question from our audience.  We know that the Lord provides protection, guidance and pathways for those who commit to his covenants.  We have heard of angels round about us, the Spirit to always be with us, prosper in the land.  We have heard of mercy, grace, and even promises to prepare a way before us.  When you think about it, we have significant promises of help and aid in this mortal world.  With all these promises why don’t we see more it, especially when we are suffering physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.  Why don’t we see the hand of the Lord lift us up when we have fallen.

I have recently suffered through several years of significant physical and mental health difficulties that have been more trying and have made me feel weaker and alone than I have ever felt.  The number of times I have said, I really don’t want to be on this earth anymore probably can’t be counted.  This has not led to anything suicidal just those nagging feelings that a brain racked with pain, depression, anxiety and suffering does as a relief valve.  I have felt on far too many occasions during this timeframe that the Lord had forgotten me in a sense.  I really didn’t have a good understanding of why and I think I have mentioned that a time or two.  I still don’t fully understand why relief did not come when I felt I needed it.  I admit that I have regularly questioned those promises we have through our covenants.  I have lost four jobs during that period of time.  Spent more time in my bed than any other part of my life.  Found new lows to my depression and new highs to my anxiety.  Have not been able to magnify my calling because I have barely been able to do just the minimum.  I haven’t been much of a father, husband or friend.  I have barely been able to take care of myself and even then I have needed help at times.  My wife and children have been angels to me.  I am naturally independent and so asking for help doesn’t come easy at all.  And so I have questioned these promises regularly wondering why the Lord hasn’t intervened in my life.

The answer to the question of protection and help through our covenants has been on my mind as I am sure that it has your mind.  My first observation during this time period is that the Lord and I do not see eye to eye when considering relief from my illnesses.  I suppose that is an obvious lesson.  The Lord ways are not my ways.  It is one thing to know that rationally and another to experience in the sense of suffering and relief from painful symptoms of physical and emotional illnesses.  I think that is also part of the lesson.  The gospel is not an exercise in learning doctrine.  It is a laboratory, a bootcamp of sorts where rather than read about running we experience the pain and the benefits.  Celestial life is a learned life not an intellectual exercise.  We have to experience it.  Even the Savior was required to experience it as part of his atonement.  We cannot pass into exaltation without the required experience.  This required experience is not based on general requirements, they are individualized to us.  Our learning experiences in this life are very tailored to what we need.  This is especially true for those who have taken upon themselves covenants.  One of the requirements of the covenants is to keep the commandments and revelations and personal revelation.  Keeping the commandments should have been followed by under all circumstances as a clarifying note.  That is where our individual tailoring comes into the picture.  Keeping the commandments is more general in the sense of what our lives should be.  The circumstances are where the Lord can tailor our experience to allow it to become exalting.  And so our lives have most definitely been tailored by our circumstances both in the sense of genetics and our environment as we work through and with our illness.  Mental illness is not random or a coincidence.  It is certainly one of the highest difficulty circumstances we can encounter upon this mortal earth.  

Keeping the commandments is purposely broad in the sense of doctrine.  The Lord knew that keeping the commandments might look very different from one person to the next depending upon their capacities, pre-mortal abilities and the circumstances that we would encounter.  Someone struggling with anxiety and serious depression might only be able to attend a portion of sacrament meeting or they might not be able to attend church at all.  But for them they are keeping the commandments because they are doing what they can based on their mortal circumstances and the personal revelation the Lord is providing them.  This doesn’t give us right to break a commandment such as the law of chastity or word of wisdom.  This would still be sin.  But our attendance at church meetings is something that can be tailored to our circumstances.  So it is important to understand what is meant by the phrase keep the commandments in the sense that the Lord intends it.  This is how the gospel becomes individual to the person and their circumstances and how the Lord can teach and try each of his children.  Be cautious of falling into the checkbox gospel, where if you do each of these things on the list your exaltation is guaranteed.   Having lists is not necessarily a bad thing in the sense of building good habits or in the sense of making covenants.  It is problematic when you encounter circumstances that don’t neatly fit the gospel mold, such as mental illness.  One can quickly become judgmental about others and oneself causing needless guilt and greater mental illness difficulties.  Remember the Lord is the judge of keeping the commandments because he fully understands the individual and the circumstances.  We should be very cautious about judging anyone’s actions in relation to the gospel, especially because we know better as individuals who suffer with an invisible illness.

What I have also found to be true that follows neatly with the idea of keeping the commandments as an individual mandate is that the mercy that comes with the commandment is also very individualized.  What might be a sin for one person may not be for another.  For instance, attending church meetings, serving a full-time mission, temple attendance, scripture study, having a calling, magnifying that calling and so many other commandments based on capacity.  And that can be difficult for us as mortal beings to see that someone far weaker than ourselves might inherit the same glory.  This is the lesson from the older brother in the story of the prodigal son.  Mercy and grace are individualized to the person.  Each of us has a path to walk and reality is that we simply cannot judge that path because we lack understanding of the pre-mortal experience generally and individually.  We lack understanding of the person other than outward actions and what is spoken.  We lack true understanding of what someone is suffering or feeling.  We don’t fully or even at times remotely understand the circumstances the Lord has allowed for our learning.  And this is especially true when we are close to someone and in a loving relationship.  We may know a little more about our spouse or children but our capacity to understand what the Lord is trying to teach each of us through individualized methods is very limited.

We struggle to understand the idea that mercy is truly an individualized experience.  And the same is true for grace.  We may see one person receiving mercy such as the crippled man at the pool of Bethsiada from the Savior.  We might see another healed and wonder why the same level of mercy is not applied to us.  And that is actually problematic as we are using a standard level of mercy applied to very individualized circumstances.  Mercy cannot be standardized.  That is why the atonement of the Savior was so personal.  There will be many who receive great mercy and grace and are allowed into celestial life because of the circumstances of their lives and the individualized training of the Lord. There will be many who seem to not have need of much mercy or grace such as the older brother in that parable of the prodigal.  Needing more of less of grace and mercy to obtain an exalted life does not determine or place in that kingdom.  It is also important to understand that many individuals will bear a heavier load of the Lord’s work because the Lord has allowed for greater capacity to do the work.  This doesn’t mean that these individuals automatically arrive ahead of those with much less capacity.  The Lord paid all of the servants the same wage even though many of them had born the heat of the day or the work load.  It would be unjust for the Lord to allow circumstances in our lives to significantly reduce our capacity and then condemn us in a way for that same lack of capacity.  That is why judgment must be left to the Lord and his wisdom.

Now we come to the idea of protection and prosperity the Lord promises to those who keep his commandments.  First of all, let’s get this out on the table.  Two ideas are prevalent in the church that aren’t really true.  The first is that if you are suffering, unhappy, depressed, anxious then you need to make a change in your life to experience happiness.  This comes from the wickedness never was happiness scripture in the Book of Mormon.  While it is certainly true that wickedness never was unhappiness, it is not true that unhappiness is always caused by wickedness.  Many difficult and troubling experiences in life due not result from sin and mental illness is very often one of them.  Physical illness can also be one of these difficulties.  Individuals can suffer a great deal of pain that is simply part of their genetics and their environment.  Second idea that isn’t true is the idea that if you are keeping the commandments then you will always prosper.  We often look at the mortal rewards of this world as prosperity and certainly they can be.  But individuals committed to mortal riches and wealth who live very much outside of the gospel also prosper in their lives.  So while the idea that we do prosper in this life as we live the gospel is true.  One cannot look at prosperity as the indicator of a righteous life.  Also it is important to consider that prosper for the Lord might look very different from what the world sees.  Again these ideas permeate the culture of the church among many but they simply are not true in many senses.  Again we see that prosperity and protection is something that the Lord defines rather than ourselves and it can be very individual to the person.

What I have also found to be true over these last few years is that much of the promises and protection of the Lord goes unseen by our mortal eyes.  We tend only to see the miraculous our something unusual rather than the tender mercies of the Lord that tend to be woven into our lives.  The Lord has always and will continue to use small and simple means to bring about what he needs in our lives.  Elder Bednar has recent talked about this.  Paraphrasing his ideas, he has basically noted that the Lord knows us so well that he can influence our decisions without us fully knowing that it is him.  A random thought that solves a problem, even a minor problem.  A desire to seek a certain profession.  An unexpected conversation or thought by another person.  A desire to go to the store that day.  Even the mundane can be used by the Lord to direct our lives.  Just because it is more mundane and not as visible doesn’t make it any less the Lord.  Just because the Lord uses our own desires to motivate us doesn’t mean that it isn’t his influence.  I think that we will be entirely shocked when those books are opened in heaven and we see just how much the Lord provided to us on a regular daily basis.

Everything the Lord does for us is individualized to who we are, who we were before we came here and who we need to become.  I have come to believe that nothing in this life is ever random or of little value when the Lord provides it.  Randomness does occur in this life but once we have partaken of covenants whatever randomness might have existed no longer applies.  There exists only one case where we can place ourselves in situations where the protection of the Lord may not be able to reach.  That is in the case when we reject the protection and walk out from under it.  The Lord likes to use the chickens wings as a metaphor for the idea of protection.  Once we walk out from under that wing and out of reach, we may place ourselves in peril spiritually and even physically.  The longer we stay there, the more likely we are to find the world outside of covenants to be a cold and merciless place.  When we have covenants and work to keep them based on our individual circumstances we can expect the protection of the Lord.

This doesn’t mean we won’t experience resistance within the protection of the Lord.  Right after the Lord tells Nephi he has prepared a way for him to get the plates of Laban, he causes Nephi and his brothers to pass through a series of tests.  Just because we are protected and prospered doesn’t mean that the way the Lord has prepared is easy.  I don’t think that Laman and Lemuel would have considered that the Lord provided for or prospered them after they had lost all of their wealth and almost their lives.  Yet Nephi could see the hand of the Lord in it.  He knew that the Lord had provided a way he just needed to find it and perhaps that is the lesson about prosperity and protection.  Nephi saw prosperity and protection throughout their journey across the Sainai Peninsula and to the promised land.  Laman and Lemuel did not.  So ultimately when we talk about covenants, protection, grace and mercy we must understand that these are very individual gifts provided as the Lord sees fit according to what we need to be exalted.  Does that make our episodes any lighter or less difficult?  Perhaps not but maybe we can see the Lord in our lives more often because of our illness.  I have most certainly spoken to him with greater feeling, depth and humility when I have suffered and have felt him far more often when I suffer than when I do not.  But ultimately this life, its circumstances, its trials, its experiences are far more tailored to our needs than we understand.  And that is perhaps one of the greatest lessons over this last four years for me that the Lord can work miracles in our lives even through the darkest trails we face.  And perhaps those dark moments and the Lord’s mercy bring about the greatest miracles and ultimately the exalted change we need.  May the Lord bless you in mercy this week to see him.  Until next week do your part so that the Lord can do his.